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The difference between excited and proud

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My daughter had her school athletics carnival this week.  This is a day that she looks forward to all year as she excels in athletics.  This year, however, she had a bit of a challenging day.  At one point through the carnival she was in tears telling me how she didn’t want to disappoint anyone.  It has led me to contemplate the difference between being feeling excited, and feeling proud, and I am writing about it now to get my thoughts in order so that I can explain to her why, no matter what the result, I am the opposite of disappointed.

Let me preface this with a note that she is exhausted at the moment, physically and mentally.  She is in a production of Oliver at the local theatre, and the rehearsals have proven to be longer, more frequent, and more tiring than we imagined.


Excited is how I felt when she won her 100m race.  Proud is how I felt when she kept going, even though she missed the start whistle and started a couple of seconds after the other girls.  It would have been easy to give up on the spot.

Excited is how I felt when she beat the school record and took first place in the high jump.  Proud is how I felt when I saw her comforting her friend, who was jumping injured and was sad at missing her jump.

Excited is how I felt when she won the 200m, and the long jump.  Excited is how I felt when she managed to take 3rd place in the 800m by a hair.  Proud is how I felt when she completed the 800m, even though she hates it, was feeling sick (after drinking a milk drink that I told her not to drink), and ran the last lap without a shoe.

Excited is how I felt when I knew that they were about to call her name to receive her medal for age champion.  Proud is how I felt when she managed to keep it together and congratulate her friend, after they actually called her friend’s name to receive the medal.

The next day, I received a phone call from her friend’s mum, telling me that they had figured out that there must have been a miscalculation and Megan should have received the medal (this turns out to be correct, but the result was very close and both girls will get medals).  She said that her daughter was sad, but knew it was the right thing to do.  I imagine that excited was what her parents felt when she won the medal.  Proud would be how they felt when she was willing to give it up.

Excitement for me is a fleeting feeling, a momentary thrill.   It could last for a few minutes, or a few days.  Feeling proud is a deep, lasting feeling.  It comes from the knowledge that your child is developing characteristics and skills that will benefit them throughout their entire life.

This is why I could never be disappointed with her performance at the athletics carnival, because no matter what the result, she showed resilience, persistence, and compassion in the midst of challenges.

Comments

  1. PollyannaJune 9, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Yeah and yah to all the above. Mum gets a medal too. Can I write a blog about the difference between being excited for Cassie and proud of Cassie? Despite her busy-ness and yours, she is at least getting some traction in all that speed.

    ReplyDelete

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